The tale of the lost retainer

So a few years ago I had a mouth full of metal, and believe me it looked gorgeous. Well, not really. But my teeth looked gorgeous when it was all taken off. And then, after one week of glorious freedom from orthodonture, I was given retainers. I am suppose to wear my retainers every night for the rest of forever, which totally stinks.

Now, to get to the good part. Sometimes when I'm wearing my retainers I take the bottom one out while I sleep and put it on my desk. I guess I just get tired of wearing it. I usually don't even remember taking it out, so it's kind of weird.

Well, the other day I was in the middle of my hour long wake up ritual and still VERY hazy. But in the midst of my sleepy haze I realized I wasn't wearing my bottom retainer any more, so I lifted my head and looked at my desk, and it WASN'T THERE! My first thought was Oh no! I swallowed my retainer! But then reason broke through my mind and I remembered it was too big and weird shaped to swallow and that I probably wouldn't be alive if I had managed to swallow it. I started looking on the floor, but didn't see it. So I decided that I would look for it more when I finally got out of bed.

It was at that moment when I gave up and started snuggling back in my bed that my hand touched something small and hard between my sheets, next to the wall.

Well wouldn't you know it! It was my retainer!

After moving it out of harms way I went back to sleep and my last thought before drifting off was,

I'm glad I didn't swallow it!